dear luv ~
you know a big reason you got yourself into this mess is because you cared way too much about what “they” thought of you. i know, i know… you’re such a strong person that you would never give a second thought as to other people’s opinions about you…
[enter “comedic” eye roll here].
no offense, but if that were true, the predator that just demolished you would have found your footprint on their behind the first time they tried to pull something… instead of an invitation to come back and do it, or worse, again and again.
fact is, you wanted this other person to see you, appreciate you, love you, and most importantly, though probably hardest to admit, you wanted their validation. you wanted them to have a high opinion of you, as some how their approval of you would help you to have a higher opinion of yourself to you.
if you want move past these types of traumatic experiences… to fully recover, and not just heal the surface or most recent wounds, you’re going to have to do the inner work of getting to know, love, and value you – for exactly who and what you are.
this means getting to know yourself… your likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, and how you want to spend the time of your life. it means acknowledging your light and shadow sides, and perhaps looking at the experiences that have made you believe that you are anything less than amazing, so you can reframe them into memories that better serve you.
once you’ve sorted through and figured these things out, you then have to make a plan for how your going to best create a life of satisfaction for yourself. and then execute. this could mean getting a new job, going to school, joining a gym or yoga studio, or attending a new church or spiritual center… anything that builds that internal muscle of your own self-validation.
much love ~ M