Narcissistic Personality Disorder SUCKS! It’s the kind of disease that not only effects the host, but can completely destroy almost anyone who tries to love them. It’s also a covert disease, as it can be very hard to identify, unless you get extremely close to the person who has it. And, by the time you’re in that deep, they’ve usually already identified you as “narc supply”, and unless you jump ship at the first yellow or red flag, you are in for a bumpy ride.
And, don’t think just because you broke it off, because they weren’t treating you right, that they’re just going to let you go. Oh no! They’ll do things like claim they’ve been diagnosed with a “disease” (like cancer or diabetes), or that they want to put your kid on their sports team, to pull on your heart strings, and keep you in their life. If you choose to accept their offering, and stick around, be prepared to be punished for ever thinking of leaving. These punishments can be things like the silent treatment/ignoring, canceling plans on purpose last minute, lying about any number of activities or, one of their favorites, cheating on you with someone new (or old if they’re a recycler). It’s during this stage that victims of narcissists become really effected, and their self worth, confidence, and belief in themselves, and what is true, deteriorates.
Contrary to popular belief, many narcissists tend to go for strong people, not weak, as a weak person wouldn’t offer them enough narc supply to feed their ego. Nope, they go after someone who is powerful or confident in most areas of life, with a big heart or empathic nature, as these are the types that want to take care of someone, and are capable of meeting all their emotional needs. Many also go after this type, as they enjoy the challenge of bringing an otherwise strong person, to their emotional knees.
If you finally call them on their stuff, in such a way where they can’t even begin to lie their way out of it, they will discard you (for the time being anyway), and start flaunting the new “narc supply” that they’ve been nurturing in the wings, in front of everyone to make up for their bruised ego, and to make it look like the failure of the relationship is your fault. And of course the new supply has no idea of who and what she’s dealing with, as she is in the love bombing phases, wanting to trust him completely.
When you are really strong enough to walk away from the narcissist, and you’ve let them know you know that they’re a liar and cheater, among other things, keep walking, and don’t look back.
Don’t bother telling the new victim(s) about who and what he is, because he’s got her blinded by his “attention“. And she’ll only see you as a threat to her new found happiness, instead of someone who doesn’t want to see her go through the same thing, albeit her own version. Telling her may also make her, and her “tribe” attack you, instead of listen. Which is a shame, because they really should be protecting her from him, and not shooting the messenger.
So, if you’ve realized that you’re “in bed” with a narcissist, get out, and stay out, as this is the ONLY way you’ll know peace again.